TIPS FOR A HARMONIOUS HOLIDAY

Holiday season is traditionally a time when we gather with family and friends to celebrate, connect, and create memories. 

However, for some of us holiday season often times means lots of crunchy or intense moments, stress, judgments, and revisiting old, tired stories and hurts. 

So what is the best way to create harmony with your partner and with your family and friends during holidays?  

We'll start by asking this question: What are holidays really about?

Let's dive into that! 

For us, holiday season is about celebrating - what we have to be grateful for; special moments of connection and being together; life itself. 

So we've created an acronym to remind us what’s important, and what to focus on during a holiday season: 

C E L E B R A T E

C: Clarity - getting clear on why we gather and what we'd love to accomplish and experience

E:  Enthusiasm - getting in the spirit of holidays, connecting to hope and enthusiasm for how we intend it to feel 

L:  Love, of course - inviting feelings of love, compassion, kindness to guide us 

E:  Embrace - be open to embrace differences, things not quite unfolding as we expect, and other people's state of being 

B:  Boundaries - one of the most important ingredient for a harmonious holiday; committing to staying kind and disengaging if need be

R:  Respect - yourself, and others; our differences and preferences, while practicing self-care

A:  Appreciate - all the good moments, others doing their best

T:  Togetherness - if we celebrate holidays with friends and family, let's invest into our time together the best way we can

E:  Express - our gratitude, appreciation, growth, effort to come together and enjoy festivities

What we feel holidays are Not is time to criticize, confront, fix, convert, prove something. Rather, we like to finish the year on a good note, with respect, gratitude, and kindness. Showing love and appreciation. Creating a positive atmosphere and setting intentions for an auspicious, harmonious year ahead.   

So, to have a more enjoyable and peace-filled holiday season, here are some proven tips to help you along the way: 

Avoid Politics and Religion Talks 

These are topics that can be very divisive and can hugely impact not only the atmosphere of a gathering, but also the relationships. 

Avoid Over-Indulging in Alcohol 

For some, it will be a good reminder that it's best to be moderate, or in some cases avoid altogether, alcohol or anything else that may cause a person to become angry and aggressive, or numb and not fully present. 

Stay Away From Airing Dirty Laundry

Holiday gatherings are not the place to bring up things from the past, or engage in anything that may lead to dysfunctional and toxic behavior.  That goes for all interactions, between you and your partner, their family, your family, your children and friends.

Stay United As A Couple

If you or someone else at the party is feeling triggered by your partner, it's best to be a team and have your partner's back. There will be a time and place to bring that up - but a holiday gathering is not it. 

Take A Higher Road 

Staying mindful and kind is always a good idea. Even if things come up and there's an issue that needs to be worked out, it would be best to leave that for a private setting at a different time.

Set Your Time/Energy Limits 

We are responsible for our own behavior and how we show up, so to give your partner, your children, and others your best self this holiday season, make sure you take care of your wellbeing before and during the gatherings. 

If that means allotting three instead of five hours for a party, or taking small breaks during the celebration, giving your self what you need and honoring your energy level will help you show up in the best way. 

Set Healthy Boundaries Around Electronics 

While it's always important to have boundaries around how much time we spend on our phone, computer, TV, etc., it's especially so during holidays. One partner may want to indulge more as it's "time to play and relax", leaving their partner feeling neglected, like they are doing "everything themselves", or unwanted. 

Also, set the rule that there'll be no phone scrolling during holiday dinners and parties - and that goes for children, too.

Prioritize Your Relationship

We can get so immersed in holiday gathering preparation, gift-buying, and cooking, and thinking about what it's going to be like this time with family and friends, that we end up spending too much time and energy on these tasks, leaving very little for our partners, and children. 

Always prioritize your loved one(s) first. Holiday season can actually be a very heart-connected time when some of the best memories are built, so don't let stress and business take that away. 

We hope that these tips will remind you of what matters and help you bring  more harmony into your holiday gatherings. 

Have a Joyful and Harmonious Holiday Season, we love you!