“We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.”
John Lennon once said, and we couldn't agree more - every day!
There has been so much talk about Nature vs. Nurture. In short, while our genes may provide the foundation for who we are, our environment and our experiences also shape how we grow, who we grow into, and how we behave over time. We would say that in essence, nature and nurture always work together.
Now, let's delve into the topic within the realm of romantic relationships.
Nature refers to the innate qualities or tendencies we possess from birth that affect how we interact in relationships, like our inherent personality traits. Nurture pertains to the actions and behaviors developed through intentional effort to build a healthy relationship - such as communication, expressing affection, and providing support. These actions and behaviors are influenced by the environment and experiences within the partnership.
Genetic biological factors that affect attraction, compatibility, and communication styles and innate personality traits such as extroversion, introversion, or emotional stability play a very important part in our relationship.
And yet, deliberate actions taken to not just sustain but grow a relationship, such as active listening, expressing needs, and demonstrating appreciation are essential for a healthy, thriving relationship.
For instance: Two people might be drawn to each other due to common interests or values shaped by their background (nature = genetic predisposition). However,
to strengthen this bond, they would practice open communication, work to effectively repair after conflicts, and focus on spending meaningful time together.
We hold the view that Nurture is the key factor in determining the success and endurance of a romantic relationship by fostering positive behaviors and tackling challenges as a team.
Although nature can influence initial attraction, it is "nurture" that mainly dictates the success and longevity of a romantic relationship through the active cultivation of positive behaviors and joint problem-solving.
We need them both - the Nature and Nurture in our loving relationships, and our hope is that we all nurture that within our own loving partnerships!
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